“Omg, its raining, YAY”

or

“ohx wowx itx raaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiinx .. !!!”

or

“**~r@1n Br!nGz 0uTzz @Tt!tud3zZzzXxX~**”

And such retina tearing language too 100 times a day whenever you open the facebook homepage. Or you get a text every now and then and then repetitive of the monsoon season that makes, at least me, shove it in their face that BITCH, I KNOW. I can see the weather’s not really bringing the usual incandescent afternoon and there’s slight drizzling, yeah. What’s so great about it? And it’s only the inception of yet another murky ambiance in Karachi where approximately 8 people die because of the already fucked up conditions of the cheap wiring thanks to KESC that break off finally because of heavy raining. [As if the 12 hours of load shedding weren’t really enough.] And of course, proclivity of our local gutters can make it only worse, surging out rain water mixed with that of the sewer that eventually gushes on the streets of the city.

Okay, so that’s just the resentment almost every Karachite has to undergo. But the time my family, guests and I had to go through was something more than that. Upon which we, as usual, agreed that Karachi might not be the most suitable place for the rainy season. And obviously my grandfather should listen to us for once on making a marble barrier between the terrace and the interior.

Yesterday, we ended up having a family dawat, Yes, I know, not at all smart. But what were we to do when we were all done with the groceries and our uncle had to leave for ship for another 17 months? Anyway, the party started. Every one was busy chatting their mouths off when it started raining heavily. Okay? Not much of a problem. The event can be pulled off. Apparently, not when your house has a built in waterfall down the stairs due to flow from the terrace in the lounge. That’s when my aunt started to fret and I went to the flooded backyard and found just one bloody wiper and jhaaroo. Curse the lack of cleaning equipment! That’s when the mayhem starts. Now my grandpa gets a wee bit temperamental when he observes slight turbulence in any party he plans for his son-in-laws and upon seeing half a dozen of my cousins and aunts running upstairs getting newspapers and the others folding their shalwars up and removing the furniture off the lounge floor drenched in muddy water and the rest trying to placate the annoyed guests and gramps. It wasn’t exactly what you call situation to gloat about. It was a fucking quagmire that got on everyone, man!

So, I was handed a big jharroo and there I’m in my casual attire stuffed in my jeans and brushing water off into the veranda.

The problem was temporarily solved and half then the KESC makes a comeback to put the cherry on the already grueling situation and that too at the time of serving the food. The hosts are all busy grabbing candles because our wretched UPS had already given up being all wet. But thanks to the extremely awesome biryani made by Eskay, gave birth to immediate mood swings. Well at least I got happy.

I’ve this thing in me, whenever there is a situation. [shortage of water, dirt in the house, filling up of dishes etc etc] I get restive and tend to act there and then. And my aunt and I make a pretty good team, Both of us grab aprons and start washing and drying and placing the dishes back in he drainers and cabinets. Forget the maasi, you dawdling asses. Wash `em now! It’s disgusting how people leave them in the sink cabinet for the next day. –bleckh- So we got the post dawat crap done. But the guests just wouldn’t get their asses and leave for home now, would they? While few of the sensible ones left and passed through the obstructive rain water safely home. the rest decided to stay. DUDE, 7 people in the drawing room, 4 in my beloved room, it’s all dark, Others occupying the rest of the rooms. Lying without pillows, farting all they want, sweating, and asking for more tea. And then there’s an aunt of mine, a rather defamed one, who was served tea that was made in mere candle light with an addition of muddy water on the kitchen floor and all the shit while she and waited like a wild boar. And when her cup was placed when in front of her all she said was.

“Achi chai nahi hai, paani ho rahee hai, tauba”

What the hell izzat supposed to mean?! Why don’t you just fuck off home and make tea yourself. I hate people like her. They do nothing and then complain.

And now it isn’t as cool ranting now as it was before so I’m gonna stop. The point it is. Rain in Karachi and especially on our is nothing but a subversive element that makes a family party look like a pointless retrogressive get together. Oh well. Besides, this whole post was to be posted now but even after 20 hours since the rain stopped and still no connection, posting may incur a I’ve-no-idea-how-many-hours delay.. :/

On a much dental note, it’s been freaking 5 years since I got my braces. But I, being a negligent careless whore got it screwed up again. ^^ But my retainers hurt. =_= Also, mayn is F.B Area one helluva place! No load shedding here. Huzzah? Enjoy 32 hours of glum no bijli atmosphere! Hawhaw!

-out!-

Lemme at those bitches. They don’t scare me. >.<

Clearly I’m fucked. Taco fungus cells, Bitch- cells, <3, diseases. All the fucking wrongs of the world in Biology. Suuure, spread ultimate pessimistica. Bah! Like Heck I’m gonna get yo bloody cholera if I drink your poop/shit in water. I’m superman, you Soper Bitch! -raises chest-

I love you Oasis! xD You just cheered my mood. “Round are way!”

lalalala! ^_^

out!

Update:  DUDE, I’m bloody legal. I got my Green, hara, gaareen ID card now! YO I’m too cool for you little illegal bimbos. Now shoo shoo! No I do not imply you forcing out your pee. Which seriously makes me wonder is I’m becoming a blasphemous larvatory obsesseive? Eh?

Picture this as this analogy… you just managed to wrest the time bomb Taliban planted to it’s null state 15 minutes before the deadline and you’re very relaxed and rise your chest with triumph. But no, wait something musters inside, insinuating you after 5 minutes and followed by 2 minutes of deep speculation, you just realized [well, culminate the negativity of that realization since I'm running out words] that the bomb is a dummy; and the real one is under a maiman aunty’s shuttle cock veil that she has left on the chair [reasons unknown] and that same process you have to repeat within 2 minutes till BAMM! Everything is a much redder, fleshier, humane example of shredded cheese lying everywhere.

So, on a much smaller scale my satisfied face was distorted two minutes before the final announcement as I saw me being a complete dumbfuck for leaving 8 marks and hyperventilating and drowning with tension. And then I use wrong methods and my hundred percent, reaching the declivity with my uber blunders narrow down to 80′s. Hopes crushed, much?

But the whole typed out story wasn’t the main point of my ramble. It was that cutely unintended perverted conversation I had with my friend Jaya. I Love apple juice and I had it stuffed in my bag. While at the examination center… an hour before the finale; I took it out and out of the blue, I see me grabbing and whining for the beloved nestle ka apple juice  followed by a weird conversation.

I: Jaya mera juice DO. Ye MERA JUICE hai na!

Ali. BUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!

I: I’m not guilty. You Fucktards

And… umm.. ah. Kthhxbai!

I’m gonne be legal in 30 minutes.

Bye bye one ege young-ness.

I fucking hate being old. But I get a driver’s pernit. Haye! No more Rickshaws and Buses. xD

Eighteen mate!

He isn’t. It’s just quite that he isn’t bullying like Bush. I really don’t get how the Republic wants it. They can’t just control the what is incumbent for the president and what’s not. He surely knows what he is doing. Then what’s the basic deal with his slogan of change if he isn’t to bring any? I definitely do not intend to indicate  “change” as a whole bunny proxy where it is all smiles and lollies e.t.c. But change in the sense that Obama shouldn’t just go about what Bush with his whole I’ma-beat-yo-to -pulp-you-whore-just-`cause-I-want-some-gore policy and hence, agglomerate unpopularity for the country and himself. [and the cool rhyme was unintentional, yo.]

So the republicans and media affiliated with them can do the world a favor by not turning morning shows into critique infested palooza and we’d all have some constructive, happy, mornings with good shows to watch. Or else, I’ve no issue with whatever the republicans want. Amreeka jaanay amreeka ka kaam janay bey.

On a much more depressing subject. I have my Parent teacher meeting coming up. Now, as I mentioned a while back about what a rotten relation I share with almost all of my teachers. This will eventually be transmuted into a really REALLY repulsive, bitter, pathetic [yes it's THAT bad] record with teachers on 5th may- The PTM AND my freakin’ birthday. Idea of a Perfect gift? I dunno… maybe, red marking on my report card and endless commentary for mum  by every single on of the teachers to digest on how “Your daughter tends to be completely boisterous and careless and yada yada yada” Yeah, couldn’t get any worse.

Been studying hard enough. Needed a bloody break! =_=

Out.

Apparently, this my idea of depression. Bloody hell I’m pathetic. But then again, I don’t seemingly mind. Love love… life.. Love love. Y

And now I saw in how many forms can this word be reincarnated to give the same unpleasant goosebumps.

JaanU

JaanI

JaanA

That’s plain scary.

I remember once my mom was driving out of the parking lot of our apartments a when she pulled her head out of the window and said “Jaanu, zara idhar to aana.”

At that time the world felt like a cruel place. that’s the word I’d expect from the last person on earth to say. ESPECIALLY to someone unknown. But turns out she was calling our car washer, Janu; which was ostensibly his real name. Now who the fuck would keep such a name?! And any one can get the picture of a dude with such a name. If you got a pictorial description of those anorexic legged chambeli tails that have got the maila bangs they like to sway off their faces with those Punjabi film k heroes walay jhatkay and wear mercury glasses and really tight mutli dyed/ bleached/ torn jeans over extremely skinny legs and bright velvet shirts. Then BINGO, my million Dollar babeh! Yeah, those. and now I, upon calling him for running some errands with regard to car stuff, have to say “Jaanu”.  :/ Not cool.

I hate the word Jaanu. A pointless post. But it had a bug to blog about. xD

Edit: I must re-read my blog posts before posting them. Sorry, I just realized how many errors I actually did on this one. My. English. Sucks. =_=”

Edit 2: Ab perhna hai, sahi wala. I must I must I must!

I. Hate. Biology. Or studying for that matter.

I guess, I can’t show my grief because it’s not just one… it’s been happening with a whole lot. And All I can do is just write words. And i seriously curse my self for just watching and writing. Rather than getting some fucking ammo with a fucking lot of people and busting their fat bearded faces. I remember a quote form the movie “Khuda k liye”

“Deen main daarhi hoti hai.. magar daarhi main deen nahi hota” Or some thing like this.

May God bless her. A Utopian society is just a dream… A dream that will hardly become animation; and will stay like this with such people on loose. For instance, look at Afghanistan, the law has openly termed rape legal. So we’d expect forced rape of a husband on wife. Not that they’re not sexually frustrated in the first place [no ethnic offense intended]. I mean, whoa! It’s gonna be man on girl, man on boy, woman on boy, man on woman [insert whoever on whoever]. I’m surprised, like seriously. Who would create such an inhumane system? Society is fucked.

Plus, I was talking to one the best people I know who seriously know how to conjure a good rambling. It’s about the secretarial and social hierarchy prevalent among people for a long time. For a Karachite [ascending from the poor to rich order] it’s like Malir/Landhi, Nazimabad/Gulshan, Defence/KDA. Now the middle class is stuck between the rich and the poor.

The poor would say, “Be obedient and faithful Or you’ll end up like us.”

And the rich would say. “You don’t need to obedient or faithful to be like us.”

Middle due’s ultimate reaction. STFUPLZ.

Yeah, Danish. You’re a genius. A perfect description.

We’re on the verge to finally find a place in the society. Which is in itself an epitome of shit.

On a much more brighter subject. I realized that I should be thankful for not being part of such a conservative, violent atmosphere.

Thank you.

Seeing as to how the days are passing. It affirms the belief in me that the general mindset is mindless. What’s worse is that even I’m sometimes a part of it.
And even worse, I don’t realize it. Often.

Not only did I manage to leave many of the questions unsolved as I didn’t get concepts of many and my short term memory had to hit my mind at the wrong time but I even got many answers wrong to the questions I already had a faint idea of. All those nights spent doing 54 questions went in complete vain.

Well, that is my incessantly down reaction after every paper I give but I never realized that the subject I would study so much for would be thank less enough to create an adverse reaction on my already tired brain. And it was only worsened when I was told by almost all of the candidate that “Paper to itna easy tha”

There is a lot of competition in college. And trust me Every single one of my friends is one helluva of a prodigious species. And one cannot even realize that till they see them do it. Of course, on top of everything stored in their multi-talented minds, they have the sense of modesty and simplicity with the “maila” disguise sprawling in as well. Talk about living among reincarnations of Bruce Wayen. I. is. scared.

So picking up from where I left, along with these countless talents, they don’t suck ass in studies unlike me. And after every paper when I am under perpetual hyper ventilation and fidgeting under I-AM-GONNA-FAIL fits and they are basking in the warmth of relaxation; I feel my self being a like big fat ugly rock in a diamond mine. Or a monochromatic light in the midst of rainbow energy savers. [insert whatever analogy you get when you think of seriously contrasting features]. Plus, I don’t really have a good reputation with any of my teachers and my Chemistry teacher- who specifically abominates me is up for the recommendations to universities- I’m even more fucked.

Yeah, I hope I kick ass in the next paper. Or God will create miracle A’s like He always does after a completely obvious result propagandized and prophesied by every one when they see me failing in my mock. Trust me, my mom deserves a lot. I Must Aim For Scholarship. Okay so what the fuck am I doing blogging? Gotta hit the books! >.<”

Ps. My pokemon brings all the nerds to the yard. They’re like, i wanna trade cards. Damn right, I will trade cards. All cards ut my Charizard. xD
[I'm an avid trading card player] whhaaat?